About counselling and psychotherapy

What is counselling
Counselling is a type of talking therapy. It gives you a safe and confidential space to talk about things that are troubling you. You can explore difficult feelings, thoughts or experiences to help gain clarity, process emotions and increase self-awareness. Counselling also helps you explore options and discover coping strategies that work for you. Many people use counselling to understand themselves better and make positive changes in their lives.

What is the purpose of counselling
We all have ways of avoiding uncomfortable feelings. Some people may choose to avoid, repress or bottle up their emotional difficulties or they maybe failing to process their emotions without even realising it. Consistent efforts to ignore our emotions won’t make them disappear. They’ll be waiting for us to acknowledge them at some point.

When these difficult feelings become an overwhelming challenge, they need to be addressed to enhance the quality of our life. If we don’t make an effort to allow those feelings to resurface so we can face them, they can become damaging and impact both our emotional and physical wellbeing. Merely masking or burying your issues, does not fix them. We may be surrounded by loving supportive relationships to whom we can speak to but, there can be times when we feel they struggle to hear us and fully understand the way we are really feeling. Therapy can give you the space to: 

• Exploring your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

• Understanding yourself better, including your patterns and reactions.

• Processing difficult experiences in a safe space.

• Finding healthier ways of coping with challenges.

• Building confidence and self-awareness so you can make choices that feel right for you.

Through working with a professional, impartial, experienced therapist, you have the opportunity to open up about things you may feel uncomfortable or not ready to speak about with a loved one or a friend.

How counselling can help
A qualified and experienced counsellor can offer a safe space to talk openly about what's on your mind.  A counsellor listens with empathy (to understand what it feels like to be in your shoes), and rooting for you, whilst also helping you see your situation from from a variety of perspectives.  Through this process, you can gain clarity, discover new ways of coping, and feel empowered to make positive choices in your life. Often, the first step toward change is seeing things more clearly and counselling helps you do just that.

It is important to note a professional therapist will not judge you or give you advice or tell you what to do, though he or she may offer information so you can choose what you wish to do with that knowledge. However he or she will work alongside you, respect your views, and support you in finding your own way forward.   

You may choose to seek counselling because you feel stressed, anxious or depressed or perhaps you've been through trauma or would like to improve relationships through better communication and healthy boundaries. Perhaps you would like to navigate seperation, work or health challanges or simply gain new perspectives. Maybe you would like to find meaning and purpose, or you would like support in achieving the personal growth you are striving for. Many people seek counselling because they would like to build resiliance and strengthen their overal wellbeing. Others come to process difficult experiences such as grief, stress, or big life changes. Whatever brings you here, choosing to begin counselling is a valuable step toward greater wellbeing.

What to expect from counselling
Counselling can take different forms depending on your needs. You might meet a counsellor on your own, as a couple or family, or in a group with people who have similar issues. Sessions can take place in-person in a clinic room or even outdoors, and many counsellors also offer online or phone sessions.

Most people come weekly for 45–60 minutes, but how often you meet and for how long, will depend on your individual circumstances, and what you agreed with your therapist. Some people feel better after just a few sessions (often 6–12), while others choose to work for longer if their issues run deeper. The important thing to remember is that therapy is a process, and like any healing, it can’t be rushed. 

During sessions, you'll be encouraged to talk about your experiences, express your feelings, thoughts and emotions. It can be a great relief to share your worries and fears with someone who acknowledges your feelings and is able to help you gain insight to your problems. This might include:

• your relationships

• your feelings, emotions or thoughts

• your behaviour

• your past or present experiences

• situations you find difficult

Your therapist will be impartial but understanding. Sometimes your therapist might suggest exercises or techniques to help with a specific problem, and other times you may just talk through what’s on your mind. What you talk about will vary depending on what you want help with, what you feel ready to disclose  and the therapist’s approach.

Counselling can take different forms depending on your needs and the type of therapy that may be suitable for you. There are many different types of talk therapies, but they all aim to:

• give you time and a safe place to talk to someone who won't judge you
• help you make sense of things and understand yourself better
• help you resolve complicated feelings, or find ways to live with them
• help you recognise unhelpful patterns in the way you think or act, and find ways to change them (if you want to).

Research has shown the relationship you have with your therapist is really important in how successful you find any talking therapy. Regardless of the type of therapy, if you don't like or trust your therapist you're less likely to open up to them, and are less likely to have a positive therapeutic experience.

Therapy can work well on its own, or it can be something you try alongside other treatments, including exercise or medication. But its important to remember that therapy isn't a quick fix, so it might take some time to see whether it's helping you or not. 

What to expect in your first encounter (often a consultation) or a counselling session
Each counsellor has their own way of starting therapy but a first session should always cover:

Introductions
This first encounter is important for making sure that you feel comfortable with your therapist. You can ask them about their qualifications and experience, their therapeutic approach or anything you’re not sure about. Your therapist will want to make sure you feel at ease by sorting out basic things like what help and support you are looking for, any questions you may have, when you would like to meet, what format of session you prefer etc.  

Assessment
Your therapist might want you to provide your personal details such as your full name and address and an emergency contact person's details. You and your counsellor will agree on practical things like session length, fees, cancellations, confidentiality, and how you’ll work together. This forms the frame of the work you will do together. During the sessions you’ll have space to talk about what has brought you to counselling and what you’d like to get out of it. 

The relationship you build with your counsellor is one of the most important parts of therapy. Research shows that trust, comfort, and connection makes a huge difference in how effective counselling can be. If you don’t feel a good fit, it’s always okay to try another counsellor.

How Counselling is different from Self-help or AI

Self-help books, podcasts, social media, and even AI tools can offer useful tips and informative, but they can’t replace the unique support of working with a trained professional. A qualified and experienced counsellor offers:

• • A genuine human connection with someone who listens deeply, is in tune with you and able to notice what you’re not saying, and understands you as a whole person. No app or algorithm or machine can truly understand the pain of loss, attune to trauma, or hold space for the person sitting in front of it. They may gently challange you to help you consider different perspectives and options.

  • Support that’s just for you, not one-size-fits-all advice, but tailored to your unique story, background, and needs.

  • A safe, confidential space where you can share things you might not feel comfortable saying to friends, family, or online communities.

  • Professional skill and experience to gently guide you through patterns, blind spots, and difficult feelings in ways that AI or self-help alone can’t reach.

This combination of expertise and genuine human relationship is what makes counselling powerful in ways that self-help resources alone or even AI platforms can’t provide.

How to get the most out of your therapy
Therapy works when you’re open and honest with your therapist about how you’re really feeling. The relationship you build together is key to the theraputic outcome. You should feel safe enough to talk about sensitive issues, share your struggles, and even give feedback about how therapy is going for you.

It’s not always easy to say things like "I don't feel helped right now" or "that comment you made bothered me" or to explain why you’re feeling unhappy but being able to be open and honest is important for a successful therapeutic outcome. You might worry about hurting your counsellor’s feelings or damaging the relationship, especially if therapy has been helpful so far. But raising these concerns is an important part of the process and a good therapist will welcome your honesty. Remember, counsellors aren’t mind readers. They may sense if something feels off, but they rely on you to share what’s really going on. 

Finally, remember that there are many different types of therapy, and therapists. Some therapists will draw on one or more theory to guide them through the process of understanding clients and helping clients with their problems. No single approach works for everyone. Part of the journey is discovering what feels right for you, and that often comes through honest conversations with your therapist about what is and isn’t working. 

Reasons why therapy may not be working:
You are not ready for change
Your expectations aren't realistic
You're doing a type of therapy that doesn’t suit your personality, or your issues aren’t suited to the therapy you are doing.
Your therapist simply isn't experienced enough
You're venting, without gaining insight
You are not reflecting within sessions or between sessions
You are not practicing outside of sessions
You are not consistent with sessions
You don't feel "safe" with your therapist so struggling to be honest and open
Your therapist is not culturally competent
Your therapist isn't "getting you", or you're not the right fit
You struggle to trust your therapist
Your issues are physiological