The System That Failed Jamie: Perspective on the Lost Boys of Modern Society - A Systemic Therapy Perspective on Adolescence

When a young person commits a violent crime, society is quick to ask: “What’s wrong with them?” But perhaps the better question is: “What happened to them?”

Netflix’s Adolescence explores this very question through the story of Jamie, a 13-year-old boy who takes part in a horrific act of violence. The series doesn’t just present Jamie as an individual case of delinquency, it unravels the systems, relationships, and failures that shaped his path.

From a systemic therapy perspective, Jamie’s actions are not just his own. They are symptoms of emotional neglect, a lack of positive role models, and societal indifference to the struggles of teenage boys. His story is a reflection of how families, schools, and communities are failing vulnerable young men and the devastating consequences of ignoring them.

Emotional Neglect: The Root of Jamie’s Struggles

At the heart of Jamie’s story is his inability to form secure emotional connections. In systemic therapy and attachment theory, we see how a child’s early relationships shape their sense of self and ability to trust others. Jamie’s emotional world is shaped by an avoidant-dismissive attachment style, meaning he struggles to seek help, express vulnerability, or trust authority figures.

The Emotionally Absent Father

Jamie’s father is physically present but emotionally distant. Many boys grow up in homes where fathers prioritise discipline over emotional engagement, leaving them to navigate their feelings alone.

• Jamie learns that expressing emotions is not welcomed at home.
• He suppresses vulnerability and internalises the idea that needing help is a weakness.
• Without a secure emotional base, he turns to external sources for identity and belonging.

Systemic therapy would ask: What if Jamie’s father had been emotionally engaged? Would he still have sought validation in the wrong places?

The Influence of Peers & Online Communities

Teenagers naturally look to peers and social groups to shape their identity. Without a strong foundation at home, Jamie finds belonging elsewhere, in toxic online communities that prey on vulnerable boys.

• These spaces provide a sense of brotherhood and validation that he lacks in real life.
• They reinforce aggression over vulnerability, deepening his emotional detachment.
• They expose him to harmful ideologies that shape his worldview in dangerous ways.

Systemic therapy would ask: What if Jamie had positive role models and healthy friendships? Could early intervention have changed his path?

The School System’s Failure to Intervene

Schools are one of the first places where warning signs appear, yet they often miss opportunities to intervene. Jamie’s school, like many, prioritises academic performance over emotional well-being.

• Did teachers notice his withdrawal?
• Was he struggling socially?
• Did the school have systems in place to check in on emotionally at-risk students?

Systemic therapy would ask: What if schools were trained to recognise emotional distress as much as academic failure?

The Breaking Point: Jamie’s Descent into Violence

Jamie’s actions weren’t impulsive; they were the final step in a long chain of neglect and systemic failure.

• Emotional disconnection at home → Online radicalization → School indifference → Suppressed emotions → Violence as an outlet.

By the time society noticed Jamie, it was too late. But it didn’t have to be.

Dr. Briony Ariston: The One Who Sees the Whole Picture

Dr. Ariston, a psychologist, is the only adult who truly listens to Jamie. Instead of asking “What did he do?” she asks “Why did this happen?”

Yet, even as she uncovers the truth, she clashes with a system that refuses to change:

• Jamie’s parents refuse to take responsibility, insisting he was just "troubled."
• The justice system wants punishment, not prevention.
• The public prefers to see Jamie as a monster, rather than face the uncomfortable reality of how he was failed.

At one point, she asks Jamie: “If someone had listened earlier, do you think things would have been different?”

His response—whether regretful, indifferent, or angry—shapes the emotional gut punch of the series.

What Could Have Helped Jamie? A Systemic Therapy Approach

A systemic therapy model does not treat Jamie as an isolated case of delinquency. Instead, it would have addressed the root causes of his emotional distress through interventions at multiple levels.

Family Therapy: Fixing Emotional Disconnection

• Encouraging fathers to be emotionally present and engaged.
• Helping parents validate emotions instead of dismissing them.
• Creating open communication channels at home.

School & Community-Based Support

• Education that prioritises emotional well-being.
• Restorative justice approaches instead of punitive discipline.
• Safe spaces for young men to express emotions in a healthy way.

Peer & Online Interventions

• Positive male mentorship to counteract toxic online spaces.
• Digital literacy education to help boys recognise harmful influences.
• Encouraging emotional intelligence in boys from an early age.

Final Thought: If We Don’t Change, More Jamies Will Come

Jamie’s story in Adolescence is not just a tragedy—it’s a warning.

We are failing young men by not addressing their emotional needs. We encourage boys to be “independent” before they are ready, leaving them adrift and vulnerable to harmful influences. We ignore the warning signs until it's too late.

If we continue to emotionally neglect boys, overlook systemic failures, and dismiss early distress as "just a phase," we will see this story play out again and again.

The series does not provide a neat, happy ending—because real life doesn’t. But it forces us to ask:

"Are we really listening?"

Copyright © 2025 Kalpna Hirani